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© bjciii 2005-2007
Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse. -- W.S. Gilbert (1836 - 1911)

Okay. I think life really isn't worth the daily grind without something to smile or laugh about. With all of the strife and hatred in the world, it feels too good to laugh at something or, even better for me, make somone else laugh. Enjoy whatever I put on this page. I'll try and categorize them into descriptive categories and I can't promise you'll love all of them, but I hope you get a chuckle or two somewhere along the line...

Audio Files

  • The Many uses of The F-Bomb
  • A Radio DJ's prank gone really wrong...

    "Priceless" Humour Pics

  • She just WANTS that bridal bouquet!!
  • A night out with the girls
  • First time bungee-jumping
  • The poor-(wo)man's Wonderbra
  • Alcohol makes you sleepy
  • Can't a bloke get a piece in peace?
  • Like every frat boy on campus hasn't already seen it...
  • Thanks Dad! Best game ever!
  • Mom always said...
  • Hope no sharks are about
  • Someone REALLY hated lines

    Office Terrorism

  • I'd say THIS is 'Idle Time' wouldn't you?
  • Don't piss off Shipping & Receiving
  • Save me the funnies!
  • Someone doesn't like you
  • WARNING: Wear Goggles!

    Humourous T-Shirt Pics

  • The most apparent statement on a t-shirt
  • Oh, if only...
  • I take it back... THIS is the most apparent statement!
  • Gotsta go to the mid-west!
  • Run faster Bob!
  • But don't a lot of women feel like this?
  • I'm praying to meet this girl
  • Um... yeah.

    Miscellaneous Humour Pics

  • A picture speaks a thousand words
  • A Traffic Notice I would love to see...
  • A way to get your kid away from "shootin the moon"
  • How to tell if a Catholic is driving too fast...

    The Written Word

    An Eagles fan, a Dallas Cowboys fan and a NY Giants fan were all in Saudi Arabia,
    sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested
    them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the
    terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to
    However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to
    successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished,
    and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just
    20 lashes each of the whip.
    As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first
    wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your
    whipping." The Cowboys fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this
    for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."
    This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The
    Cowboy fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was
    The Giants fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after
    watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two
    pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Giants
    fan out crying like a little girl.
    The Eagles fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he
    could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in
    the world, your supporters are some of the best and most loyal football fans in the
    world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
    "Thanks, your most Royal Highness," the Eagles fan replies. "In recognition of your
    kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
    "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave,"
    the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then
    so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.
    "Tie the Giants fan to my back."


    A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a New Jersey
    Devils fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Devils
    fans too.
    Not really knowing what an Devils fan is, but wanting to be liked by
    their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one
    exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd.
    The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
    “Because I’m not an Devils fan,” she retorts.
    “Then,” asks her teacher, “what are you?”
    “I’m a proud Philadelphia Flyers fan,” boasts the little girl. The teacher
    is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why
    she is a Flyers fan.
    “Well, my Dad and Mom are Flyers fans, so I’m a Flyers fan too,” she responds.
    The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your
    Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?”
    “Oh,” says the little girl. “Well, then I’d be an Devils fan.”


    When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him,
    and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.
    "Tarzan not know sex," he replied.
    Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh... Tarzan use hole
    in trunk of tree."
    Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong!!! but I will show you
    how to do it properly."
    She took off her clothes and laid down on the ground. "Here," she said,
    "You must put it in here."
    Tarzan removed his loincloth... stepped closer to Jane, and then gave
    her an almighty kick right in the crotch.
    Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually
    she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?"
    "Tarzan check for bees."

    Two boys are playing hockey on the pond at Boston Common when one is
    attacked by a vicious rottweiler.
    Thinking quickly, the other boy took his hockey stick and managed to
    wedge it down the dog's collar and twist, luckily breaking the dog's neck
    and stopping its attack.
    A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to
    interview the boy. "Young Bruins fan saves friend from vicious animal," he
    starts writing in his notebook.
    "But I'm not a Bruins fan," the little hero replied.
    "Sorry. Since we're in Boston, I just assumed you were," said the
    reporter and starts again. "Red Sox fan rescues friend from
    horrific attack" he continued writing in his notebook.
    "I'm not a Red Sox fan either!" The boy said.
    So, what team do you root for? the reporter asked.
    "I'm a Yankees fan!" the child beamed.
    The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes:
    "Little Bastard from New York Kills Beloved Family Pet."

    A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?"
    After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well God is both male and female."
    This confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
    "Well," she says, "God is both black and white."
    This really confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
    Feeling a bit out of her depth, but wanting to be consistent, the mother
    answers, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
    At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks...
    "Is Michael Jackson God?"