bjciii: My twisted thoughts

There were times I didn’t think I could do it, but I managed to survive for 31 straight days (and 32 entries)! To put that into perspective, in the calendar year 2009, I had 36 TOTAL entries. At this rate, I will tie that on February 4th and surpass my entire year’s previous year’s total on February 5th if I keep this up. Sad? Maybe. Dedicated? Absolutely. Insane? Almost there, thanks for asking.

I did this because Chris wanted to read more. I did this because Kim loves to read these things and, once upon a time, Amy, Katie, and Karen all followed suit. I don’t blame a lot of you for fading away over the past couple of years. I stopped BLOGging for a while only because there was so much I had to get out, but I felt this wasn’t a safe-enough place to talk anymore. See… you need balls to BLOG; not literal testicles, people… but guts to say what you need to say. I lost those guts when confronted by a few people who continuously read into my ramblings and replied with venom, bile, and unmitigated pissiness. I’m not saying that I’ve got all that fortitude back, but I can tell you that thanks to Chris and Kim and Jackie (in principle, but the rest helped too), I’m getting there.

Also, in a BLOG like mine, there is really only so much I can write without repeating myself. That’s why I’m giving you a sneak-peek of February in bjciii: My twisted thoughts: I’m bringing back the “Movie-a-Day” idea I did 2 years ago. I’ve gotten a lot more movies since then and some I have watched, but a lot I have not. So, I will introduce the topic tomorrow (February 1st) and, hopefully, get enough movies together to last 28 days. Maybe, by the end of February, I’ll be able to come up with a 31-day topic to go through in March.

To end today, however, I do want to say “Thank you” to a lot of you (and I’m not going to embarrass those who DID help me and I’m not going to guilt those who didn’t by naming names) who got me back on track. I’m feeling like myself after a long time away! Wow. The new-old me is a terrible housekeeper! I gots some work ta do!

When I was a lot younger, I read like it was my job. I picked up every book that my parents had bought for me and begged for more. When I got older, I started going through their books to see what was good (best choice? Silence of the Lambs; a book that my mother didn’t even bother finishing, but I devoured and loved). Somewhere along the way, I didn’t exactly lose my love of reading, but I definitely entered into a long relationship with TV and movies. Yes, folks… books became my grade-school girlfriend who was fine for a while, but was replaced for the glitz and glamour of high-school women.

I’m ashamed.

I still go out and buy a ton of books (and I do read some of them), but I don’t read nearly as much as I could be reading. I check out the flashy covers and say “Maybe I’ll get that one.” I look at the “Books” section of “Entertainment Weekly” for stuff I want to read but inevitably don’t. I’m a book-tease.

Tonight I dug out a book I bought, swore I was gonna read, and then buried with the other ones in my room. It’s Fool by Christopher Moore and, if the first few chapters are any indication, I’m gonna love reading his other stuff. Hell, I might start just plowing through these books instead of continuously watching the same shit over and over on TV when I can’t sleep.

Why read instead of watch TV or a movie? Easy… reading allows your mind to paint the pictures whereas the video is produced by someone who thinks the setting should look a certain way. Reading makes the characters come alive in ways that horrible actors can’t do justice with. Reading expands the mind where TV decides to shrink it, using vocabulary that doesn’t exactly make us think.

Yup… reading is awesome. Sorry I forgot.

Scream. Die Hard. The Matrix.

All three of these movies introduced plots or ideas into the Hollywood zeitgeist that people never did before. Scream decided to lampoon scary movies in a way that terrified people; it wasn’t just an Airplane! type stunt (later taken on by Scary Movie and it’s completely sub-par sequels), but an actual well-written script which embraced the absolute fervor that people had for certain genres and how it was dealt with in such a way that both poked fun at and warned the public at large of. Kevin Williamson’s movie introduced a brand-new age of horror movies and we’re seeing the death of that trend now (even to the point that there is a rumored third sequel to Scream in the works… 13 years after the original came out in theatres).

Die Hard took the old action films and turned the genre from muscle-bound supermen with guilty consciences in bad situations to “everyman” who had to do whatever he could to get out of it alive and save the day. Of course THIS movie sparked so many imitators that everything from that point on was described as…

• Die Hard on a plane = Executive Decision
• Die Hard on a boat = Under Seige
• Die Hard on a train = Under Seige 2: Dark Territory (a singularly horrible movie… even by Seagal standards!)
• Die Hard on a bus = Speed

and the list can go on for as long as I can think.

Then, of course, we have The Matrix; a tremendous movie which basically became Blade Runner for this generation. It took all of our ideas of the future and the present and added a lot of cynicism, kung fu, and philosophy, put it in a blender, and we drank the mixture with the red pill. It was amazing, but it also spawned a lot of imitators… but also two sequels (one of which wasn’t tremendously bad… and the other was).

The point is that no matter how original the idea is, there are a list of people a mile long that cannot wait to rip it off. Hell, even though Twilight hit it big as a book, there has been a huge vampire revival. Everything has to be about blood-suckers now. As soon as there’s something that people will mindlessly flock to, there will be a million copycats waiting to cull the stupid from the herd. Unfortunately, as with anything, the original is always the best while the imitators become just absolute shit. Every so often one will rise above the dreck, but that’s few and far between.

Keep your eyes out… you never know when something truly original will hit. Then again, when you see 50 movies right after with the same basic idea? Then you know you already missed it!!

51 weeks ago, my world changed in an awesome way: I had a nephew. No, my sister didn’t have a baby, I had a nephew… don’t distract me.

This little guy is incredible; every time I see him, I’m happy! The best thing about him is that he recognizes me now and always grins when he sees me. I dig that… it’s nice to know someone’s always happy to see me!!

I’ve seen him go from a coned-head to a perfect head. I’ve seen him barely able to support his neck to sitting up. I’ve seen him go from his back to his stomach and reverse. I’ve seen him go from a crawl to a walk, and now to a run. I love being able to follow along with all these milestones!

It’s an amazing journey that I get to share with my family because of this little guy. Soon, he’ll be yammering away in English and I’ll try to correct him (which is scary enough knowing how I deal with my students). It’s a wonderful thing and I can’t wait to see what’s in store.

Lights off… television is dark… eyelids getting heavy…

Shit! Forgot my entry for the day!

Let’s hear it for blind panic!

Comfort: It comes in many varieties. It’s that warm, soft blanket that you wrap around you when you want to feel safe and secure. It’s the sigh of relief you make when you look at the balance on your ATM receipt. It’s the mac and cheese that mom used to make… comfort is a song, a show, a pet’s kiss, or a favorite shirt. No matter what you define as comfort, it’s there to relieve the stress, calm the brain, and slow the heart. There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable. Sometimes people use the word interchangeably with “complacent”, but the connotations are vastly different. Comfortable is being secure with a station or a location… complacent is not caring or thinking about anything anymore.

I bring this up because, with the different varieties and the different definitions, comfort comes from vastly different places depending on where you need it. I thank my family and friends for my comfort. It can be a text message or an instant message… a phone call or a pop-in; all of the ways we receive comfort speak to is in a single fashion: Everything’s okay.

So whether you’re taking comfort from a cat in your lap or an e-mail in your Inbox… enjoy it. Realize that all around the world there are people much worse off than you. Those people are living in uncertainty and stress. Smile and remember Bono:

Tonight, thank God it’s them… instead of you.

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not overly political. I think I’m registered “Democrat”, but I do that to vote in the primaries here. I have a lot of Republican tendencies, but I have a lot of Democratic tendencies as well. I’m basically an independent, only not registered as such. I bring this up because Delaware is trying something now, and Maryland is proposing something else; both seem to introduce a lot brighter spotlight on law-breakers.

First, Delaware. I think by now we’ve all see the digital billboards that can change graphics without having a crew of guys go out with ladders and paste. Okay… they’re really cool. The one I’m talking about, however, is (if I’m not mistaken) on the northbound side of I-95 between Newark and Stanton / Christiana.

Currently, it’s showing wanted criminals and their pictures and information. I guess it’s the 21st century idea of the old West’s “Wanted” posters, but it seems cool nonetheless. Imagine if you were the guy whose mugshot was up there! Driving home from Newark, seeing your ugly mug 20 feet high on the side of the road? Wow. No one can hide there! I bring this up because I’m sure that the ACLU and other institutions like that will rail against the invasion of privacy or some other crap they’ll dig up. Personally, I think it’s a great idea. I say that all criminals should have their pictures on the side of the road with associated phone numbers for tip lines. It’s a fantastic idea! When I was a kid, we had to go to the post office to see wanted posters, but now we can do it while we’re driving home! I love it. I really do.

The next thing is that Maryland (or, more to the point, a Maryland delegate) is trying to introduce a bill into the legislature that states if someone is convicted of “three or more drunken or drugged driving offenses” they should be forced to use a “boldly-colored” license plate.

It would be awesome if this delegate’s last name was Hawthorne (someone PLEASE get this reference so I don’t feel like an idiot), but it’s not. I honestly don’t know how I feel about this though… Truthfully, I think I like “3 strikes and you’re out” as a law since I don’t want someone who is caught AND convicted three or more times to still have a license! What’s to stop them from drinking and driving again? They are also looking into ignition interlocks which are much better, but just because someone’s got a “scarlet letter” doesn’t mean it’s going to stop them from doing what they were doing in the first place.

These are both great ideas, but they need people to let them work. With the culture’s “stop snitching” bullshit, we have an entire subculture dedicated to letting crime run rampant. With our own apathetic ways, we allow things to happen all the time. Regardless of the tools used, there needs to be societal interaction. There needs to be help from the citizenry. “That’s not my job” or “don’t we pay the police for that” are inexcusable anymore. Step up and use the tools that are given to make things better.

Okay… living on A street, then. Better? Sheesh.

I grew up in the suburbs. Both houses that I lived in with my parents while I was growing up were located in neighborhoods with driveways and trees and all the amenities besides the white-picket fence. Other than my college years in the dorms, I spent my entire childhood, adolescence, and teen years in that world. When I bought my home, I couldn’t afford the areas where my parents and married friends lived, so I got a nice row-house / townhome in the city; no driveway… no trees… no white-picket fence. I’m not complaining… I love my house. I do wish that I had a driveway, but I have become the best parallel parker you’ll ever meet. The fun part of living where I live is that the street is right in front of my house is a main thoroughfare for the city, so I get ALL the good police chases and fire-runs. The past two nights, you would have thought that the world was ablaze due to the sheer amount of rescue personnel that was screaming down the street. I get to see all the fun stuff!

Not only that, but the city decided to put a red-light camera about a half-block down from my window, so all the speeders running the red-light get their face-shot. My favorite part of that? When it’s nice and warm in the spring, summer, and fall, I’ll sit on the front steps with a beer or two and watch the idiots go through and get snapped. I think I counted 10 on the busiest night (in only 2 beers, no less), so that was sorta fun… for me.

Other than that, I don’t know too many of my neighbors; the only times we actually talk is during a problem on the street or when we’re all digging our cars out. Oh yeah! I forgot that! Another perk of city living (especially on my side of the street) is that the city plows lean to the right, so a two-foot snow turns into 4 – 5 feet of snow, slush, and ice up against my car. That’s always a blast!

You may think I’m complaining, but I’m really not… I do enjoy living where I live. I don’t think I’d have nearly the experiences if I lived in the suburbs. I don’t think I’d be nearly as “worldly” as I am without living in the city. While everyone else seems to be complaining about this or that, my life is pretty damned awesome. I love my job, my friends, my family, my house, and pretty much everything about this crazy life of mine.

Now… if I only had a damned driveway…

…who didn’t like either the books OR the movie for Lord of the Rings? I found the first movie so tedious… so ass-numbingly boring that I didn’t BOTHER watching the second two.

…who has absolutely no desire to see Avatar? Don’t get me wrong here; I don’t foam at the mouth trying to avoid seeing it, but it’s definitely not a movie that I’m excited to go blow $20 to see. Hell, I didn’t hate Titanic, but I sure as hell didn’t love it either. Lemme put it this way: If Ah-nuld isn’t working with Cameron, I’m pretty much apathetic.

…who has never seen even a second of “Jersey Shore” on MTV?

…who cannot STAND Joe Buck?

…who has to put cooking directions in some sort of song so as not to forget each step while he’s doing them? God… I hope not; that would absolutely suck to know that I’m alone on that one.

…who is shaking his head and is very worried about the state of Bruce Willis’ career after starring with Tracy Morgan in the new movie Cop Out? Kevin Smith is directing, so I’m holding out hope, but still…

…wants to reply to Tweets and correct people’s grammar? I know… I have a problem.

…is depressed that kids born in 1992 are eligible to vote in November? ’92, people… I was starting my senior year in high-school!! Kids who get their license this year? 1994. Yup. I literally have ballcaps older than these kids.

These are just some of the things I think of when I’m folding laundry.

Back when I was a few weeks into my freshman year of college, this movie called Striking Distance came out in the theatres. Its big draw was Bruce Willis, a man who only a few years before went from being a quirky guy with some wacky musical chops on a little show called “Moonlighting” to being a bona-fide action heavyweight with the often-imitated Die Hard. This movie was filmed in 1992 in and around Pittsburgh, PA. On the surface, it should have made a huge impact… even if we only look at the names in it: Bruce Willis, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dennis Farina, Tom Sizemore, and Andre Braugher. Add in an over-the-top, creepy turn by Robert Pastorelli and a few brief moments by then-full-time actor and now-television-director Timothy Busfield, and it was a pretty tight movie with the acting side. The script wasn’t bad either; sure, it was a procedural movie, but it tried to build in some twists and turns to keep people wondering. Also, that the script was written and directed by Rowdy Herrington, the man who brought us the uber-cult-classic Road House and the vastly underrated Gladiator (the 1992 movie about underground boxing, not the one with Russell Crowe). Yup… on paper it shouldn’t have missed!

Only… not.

It didn’t clear $24 million at the box office during its entire run; to put that into perspective, Avatar opened with a box office of almost $78 million, and now sits at over $1 billion worldwide gross. It’s only been out for a little less than 2 months. People didn’t exactly stay away in droves, but they sure as hell weren’t flocking to the theatre to see it. I can’t find any information to see when Striking Distance limped out of theatres, but it probably wasn’t around by Thanksgiving… Even in subsequent interviews with the two main stars (Parker and Willis), both of them admitted how much they disliked the film, even causing Bruce Willis to publicly apologize for it on an episode of “On the Record with Bob Costas.”

Now… once it was out of the public consciousness, cable stations like TBS picked it up and played it on heavy rotation. I can’t say whether or not people started liking it more or less at this point, but I never thought it was a bad flick to begin with. Would it win any Oscars? Shit no. Was it Showgirls-bad? God, no! Believe me… I’ve seen easily over 1,000 movies in my life, but this won’t ever appear on the “worst of” list. I’ve seen some God-awful crap in my day, but Striking Distance was just underrated in my opinion. You can tell that Willis’ heart wasn’t in it, and you can also tell that Parker was really trying to be good, but the fact is that the script wasn’t fantastic. Sure, the story wasn’t bad, but the script had issues. However, there are movies out there that we can overlook some of that… this is one of them.

If you approach this movie as a serious psycho-thriller, sure… you’ll be disappointed. If you just want to watch a “guy” movie that you can shut your brain off for a couple hours? This is a perfect candidate. I liked it so much that I bought it on VHS when it first came out and I still have it! There’s nothing wrong with a little mental-shutdown once in a while… this is perfect background for that time.

So to Bruce Willis? Apology not accepted. You had nothing to apologize for. To Sarah Jessica Parker? Don’t be embarrassed about it. No one can make Academy Award-winning movies every time, but this one is enjoyable on a lazy Sunday afternoon sort of way. If you don’t believe me, give it a watch… Lord knows that it’s usually on some sort of cable channel (like A&E… right now, as a matter of fact)!!

I’ve bitched and moaned about why my previous job sucked, but I haven’t really stated why my current job is fantastic. There are definitely difference and those differences are huge. The way I look at it, we are most likely going to be working for “The Man” from our teen years through retirement (if we’re lucky). Very few of us will be independently wealthy, but some of us might actually work for ourselves at some point. When you find something that pays you that you don’t hate? I think you’re lucky, indeed. So…

If you talk about your “career”, rather than your “job”, you’re probably in a job you enjoy. No one wants to imagine themselves stuck in a place for 40 years when they hate every second of every day at the office. When I worked for the computer company I worked for, I took longer and longer to wake up because I dreaded going into work that much. I never called it my career, but merely my job. Here? I definitely refer to it as a career because I can see myself here until I retire (or die… whichever). Before you smirk and say, “But, yeah… you probably thought that your other job wasn’t bad in the beginning either!” Bullshit. I did. I hated that place from the first month I was there, but I couldn’t get out.

If you go in early and stay late, not because you have to, but because you want to? You’ve probably got a job you enjoy. Don’t read that the wrong way… I’m not saying that I have no life and spend 60 hours a week here, but I am most always the first person in and I’ve been staying later because I get a lot done and it doesn’t really feel like a ton of work (until the end of the semester… then it’s a lot of work). My old job? I went in at 7 and I was out at 4; no exceptions. If they wanted me to stay later, I actually made them pay me… in cash… any time I spent there over my required 40 hours. Yes. I hated it so much that I extorted my previous employers. Admit it… you wish you had the balls I had.

When you look forward to telling people what you do and have no problem answering questions about the day? You’ve probably got a job you enjoy. Previously, I just gave terse answers. Now? I love talking about the stuff I teach. I love talking about the diverse populations I deal with (not in specifics, mind you… there are laws to follow), but the idea that I can have students from 16 to 66 taking my classes? Awesome. Nothing is ever the same. When you trudge from the car to your desk and the desk to your car, never seeing the sunlight? That’s when you’re not jazzed about talking about your day.

When the people you deal with on a daily basis tell you “Thank you!” without prompting? You’ve probably got a job you enjoy. I can make this one real short: The first time a student ever told me outside of class “Thanks. I really got a lot out of your class” was probably one of the greatest feelings I have ever had. I don’t do what I do for thanks, but I will never downplay how awesome it is when a student says it.

When the people you work with support you and allow you to support them without backstabbing, you’ve probably got a job you enjoy. While I did like a number of the people I used to work with (and I’m still in contact with some of them), there were several that I am glad I don’t really care if I ever see or hear from again. They were reminders of a time where I grew to be a crotchety old man in my 20s. From a majority, there was no love… from the minority, there was support. Now? I can ask anyone anything and they can do the same with me. Everyone wants everyone to succeed for the good of the department. There’s a lot of friendship and well-wishing. Even when there are issues, there’s still a sentiment of togetherness.

Maybe my friends here don’t quite understand, but I do. I appreciate where I am, what I do, and who I do it with. When you get paid to do what you love, you’re a truly lucky person. I never thought of myself as very lucky before, but I sure as hell do now.