I have this great little app called “StumbleUpon” that’s installed on my Firefox browser. It basically takes you to a random site (within categorical limits) on the internet. Well, today it took me to a Canadian website called “The Truth” where it made a very legitimate, yet perplexing statement: “If two people disagree, then one or both is not telling the truth.”
First, I have a huge problem with someone spending however much money it is to register a domain name AND pay for webspace, when it’s a site which consists of one page, no links, and 13 words. It boggles my mind. I will, however, let that go after a deep breath…
<deep breath>
Okay. Better.
My main problem with this statement is the fact that I don’t believe it to be true. Ironic, I know, but what is “the truth”? Is the truth an absolute, or is it a subjective interpretation of events surrounding the human condition?
See, if truth is an absolute, then we are all liars. There’s no conceivable way to know “the truth” in that respect because, at that point, we admit that we are omnipotent when we are most certainly not. Prior to 1492, humans believed the Earth to be flat, but that was disproven. So, in that case, all humanity was made up of liars. Our ancestors also believed in a Earth-centric universe, but Copernicus proved that was incorrect in the 16th century. Of course, these ideas are based upon our current limitations of science. The world isn’t round, it’s oval-shaped; yet, we tend to discuss the world as round instead of the correct way.
Are we all liars?
What about if truth is merely a subjective understanding of the events around and including us? What if it is an understanding of what is occurring and our perceptions of it? In that case, can anyone who is faithfully relating the events actually lying? Sure, if I walk up to you and smack you in the face and you witnessed me do it, but then tell people John did it, that will make you a liar; however, if you and I witness an accident and our brains process different pieces of information, how are either of us liars when we truly believe what we have witnessed?
So, is truth absolute – is something accurate regardless of the different interpretations – or is truth subjective – are we capable of understanding truth, our intelligence limits not withstanding?
Tomorrow, after American Idol on FOX, there’s yet another attempt to remain somewhat relevant. That’s right, kids… Osbournes Reloaded is coming to a boob-tube near you!
After a long career as one of the pioneers of heavy metal progressing into the idea of ’80s metal, Ozzy brought his dysfunctional family into the living rooms (and, wow. There it is… an antiquated statement if I ever heard one. I mean, seriously… how many of us actually have our televisions in the living room anymore? Sure, I have a row-home and my living room is also my den, but in bigger homes, how many people plug in a TV in that sacred sitting room?) and hearts of America with The Osbournes, a “reality” show aired on MTV, complete with a Richard Cheese-esque rendition of “Crazy Train” as its theme song. The show centered around The Dark Prince of Metal, his wife, uber-bitch (and I do mean that lovingly… she puts up with a lot and is a steel-balled businesswoman) Sharon, their two “made for rehab” children Jack & Kelly (there’s another child, but Amy – I think that’s her name – didn’t want anything to do with it), and their Dr. Doolittle lifestyle with 15,000 dogs (hyperbole is our friend).
Well, the picture of Ozzy that millions of Americans had in the ’80s was replaced by an unintelligible, doddering man trying to keep his shit together. Still putting out singles, Ozzy remains relevant simply due to his musical cred. His kids, however, were destined for C-level mediocrity… until someone at FOX decided that The Osbournes should SO have a reality / variety show!
Seriously?
The geniuses who decide to stick Joss Whedon’s shows in the Friday night “death slot” figure that they’re going to make bazillions on a variety show hosted by the family that should have an antire psych ward named after them?
Ugh.
All of that leads me to the idea that we, as a people, have become so hell-bent on being in the forefront of everyone’s mind. Andy Warhol once said that we all have 15 minutes of fame. Some people parlay that into a few hours, but some fade at about the 3 minute mark. It’s the people who had the taste, but not the meal, that desire to do whatever it takes to continue getting that celebrity.
Like I said, simply because he was OZZY, John Osbourne will live in infamy long after he ceases to live at all. Sharon, by virtue of her business-sense and stories of her insanity, will be remembered as well. The kids? Besides a bad album (Kelly), a canceled-before-the-finale reality show (Jack), and trips to rehab (both), there’s nothing memorable there! They want to be relevant again!
VH-1 has cashed in on all of the desires of people like this by launching their “Celebreality” programming with “The Surreal Life”, the various dating shows of has-been musicians (yes, Flava Flav & Bret Michaels… I’m talking to you), and even filming Chris “Peter Brady” Knight and his girlfriend / fiancee / wife Adrienne Curry for about 3 years. Why do they continue to do it?
Because we watch.
It’s the same reason we keep getting SPAM in our e-mail. It’s the same reason why reality shows continue to be aired. It’s the reason why Celine Dion is still putting out music. Without the audience, there’s no need for that to happen!
I predict that there will be a decent (not fantastic) Neilson rating for tomorrow’s premiere, but I am willing to bet that we’ll see a double-digit drop before episode 3. People love to see a train wreck, but not everyone will keep coming back to watch the carnage until it’s cleaned up.